Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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