I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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