he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
