Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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