you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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