It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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