So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
