Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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