there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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