Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
