these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Randomize