so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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