everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
