with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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