just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i will never coherently bang her
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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