Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
