I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
birth control should be required to get into college
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You made out with two different species that night
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
