I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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