He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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