Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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