Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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