"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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