time to smoke my breakfast
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
