Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize