respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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