we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
