smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think a kid would responsible me up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize