I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize