if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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