sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
