Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
