Fine. I'll sleep in my office
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
