U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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