I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize