hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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