shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
