: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
