Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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