let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
