Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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