i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
