If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
