apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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