Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
