I understand Curling. That high.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
