What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize