Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
