yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sponge bath it is.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
