I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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