I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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