i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
is that a dick in a sweater?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
