dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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