Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
