I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
