The best revenge is premature balding
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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