I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize