Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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