Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
handjob tips. give me some.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize