He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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