Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
