Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
