would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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