My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I can't turn off my feet"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
