Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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