No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
