Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
