I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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